God chose me

It has been almost 4 months since we found out Sarah has Cystic Fibrosis and It really hasn't been the easiest road for me. I find myself wondering why did this happen to my child? Then I have to remember that Sarah is not my child, but Gods. 

Sarah is a gift from God. She is not merely a vehicle for Cystic Fibrosis; she is a child who happens to be afflicted by CF. Sarah is gracious gift. ALL of Sarah. She does not 'belong' to us; she 'belongs' to the Lord. God is the one who gave her life. 

Shortly after the diagnosis a dear friend told me...

"God chose you to be Sarah's mother because He knew that you would be perfect for the job."

Perfect for the job? I fell totally inadequate. But when I own this as a gift in which God has prepared me, I can be thankful.

Yes.  Thankful.  I am thankful to be Sarah's mother.  I was chosen. I am so blessed.

In hard times, it's easy to feel pity for yourself.  And, believe me, I have had many moments of deep sadness over this diagnosis.

I find myself asking "God, why did this happen to me?"


That is the question, when I contemplate the years of treatments, medication and hospital visits that Sarah's life will entail, that burns a hole in my heart. I don't want my daughter's life to be full of suffering. I do not want to outlive my own child.

However, instead of spending my time wondering why my child had to be the one who got Cystic Fibrosis, I can mediate on the fact that Sarah is a blessing given to me because I was, in fact, chosen for this job. I was chosen to be her mom.

I will continue to ask why. Yet, in the midst of the asking, I will choose to thank God for His gracious gift, for the privilege to care for our little blessed one.